DEAR MOMI TO BE

Want to have a happy pregnancy? Some of it is in your head. Make the most of your nine months—starting now.

Pregnancy stresses the limits of our endurance. It takes us to emotional heights — and depths. It changes our values as well as our shapes. ​ But too often, we focus on the inconveniences and aches of pregnancy. Instead, it should — and can — be a time filled with good health, motivation, contemplation, re-evaluation and just plain fun. 1. Take advantage of your status. Never again will more people be so willing to help you. Accept that bus seat. Say yes to offers to carry your packages. Rather than feel guilty, resolve to pass the favors on to another pregnant woman later. ​ 2. Go easy on nesting. Setting up a nursery and shopping for a new baby can be fun, but don't let it overwhelm you. All he / she really needs is shelter, basic clothing, diapers, food and you. ​ 3. Look your best. Invest in a couple of special maternity outfits, including some pretty lingerie. Wear flattering colors and styles. Get beauty treatments often. Have a glamour photo taken (don't worry, you can keep your clothes on). ​ 4. Revel in your belly. When your baby is awake and active, put a jelly bean or half-filled glass of water on your belly, lean back, and watch the show. Photograph or videotape your ultrasound. Record the heartbeat. Have a cast made of your belly. Show the real thing off, too. ​ 5. Evaluate your life. Suddenly, climbing the corporate ladder may not seem so important. Perhaps your lifestyle feels "off" now that you are bringing a child into it. Take advantage of any doubts or discontentment to do some soul-searching, and be prepared for shifts in your priorities. ​ 6. Be queen for a day (for nine months). Trash your to-do lists. Nap without guilt. Go to a day spa. Take extra showers. Take your shoes off and put your feet up. Sleep late (but do get up and dressed so you feel part of the world). Buy a body pillow for your last trimester. If meals or housework are too much, hire help or call on a friend. ​ 7. Renew your spirituality. The timing couldn't be better. "When you're pregnant, you're more contemplative, more in tune with creation," ​ 8. Enjoy being kneaded. Performed correctly, prenatal massage can safely relax you; ease muscle stress, swelling and back pain; and improve circulation. "Massage can also help a woman develop greater sensory awareness, which is very useful in labor and delivery," ​ 9. Get motivated to live more healthfully. Sometimes we'll do things for someone else that we won't do for ourselves. You have several months to develop healthful eating habits, start a moderate exercise program, take up meditation or do whatever else makes your body a better home for both you and your baby. ​ 10. Spice up your sex life. Pregnancy can be a very sexy time — hormones are altered, senses are heightened, concern over getting pregnant is gone. Because conventional sex may be uncomfortable, now is a great time to get creative. Experiment with novel positions, new lingerie, different lighting. You may discover "treats" you and your partner can enjoy even after the baby is born. If the sparks have dwindled, keep the embers alive with cuddles and communication; the fire will rekindle. ​ 11. Experiment with your hair. Changing hormones may make your hair stronger and thicker. "Many of my clients find that pregnancy is the perfect time to grow out their hair, especially since they'll want an easy-to-care-for style when the baby comes," says Brenda Elliott, a stylist with Pro Beauty. Forgo colourings or perms, however: Your hair may react differently, and the chemicals may be bad for baby. Skip the temptation to try a drastic new cut, too. ​ 12. Make new friends. Check with your hospital, community center, church or attend a Momi Mingle to find other momis or pregnant women to share experiences with, tap for advice and keep as friends after the baby is born 13. Focus on the goal. Within you grows a living being who will one day talk, dance, create and melt your heart with a smile. When you get achy, think about that first giggle. When you can't sleep at night, imagine rocking that soft, small person in your arms. ​ 14. Laugh. Pregnancy opens women to embarrassing-at-the-moment-but-hilarious-later situations. Concentrate on the funny side. Laugh when "mother brain" makes you put your keys in the refrigerator and garlic in your purse. ​ 15. If all else fails, blame the hormones. Sometimes, no matter what you try, everything seems wrong, changes overwhelm, and you just can't cope. It's all normal — indulge yourself. Cry. Rage. Then send your partner out for ice cream while you enjoy a warm bath surrounded by candles.